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Stargazers by ~lupyne:iconlupyne:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Human Nature > Open


                                                            The
                                                         time has
                                                       come again
                                                   for Halley to soar
                                               through the night’s sky
                                          The time has come once again
               for a million telescopes around the world to tail its graceful movements
                     I remember, as I’m sure you do too, this was how we first met,
                          Up on the roofs, amidst the midnight breeze, stargazing
                               We saw West together; a startling phenomenon
                                    and we promised each other, remember?
                                   “We’ll meet again when Halley soars by”
                                 “We’ll meet again under its heavenly glow”
                              So I shall wait here          But now, the biggest
                          In hope that you                           question is, will       
                       still remember.                                    you be waiting
                      I’ll wait for                                                for me there
                    you.                                                                       too?
©2007-2009 ~lupyne
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Submitted: September 6, 2007
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Comments: 80
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Author's Comments

Headache.
Please don't comment on its odd shape.

I need to write normal poems again.

Inspired by Tentai Kansoku (Stargaze) by Bump of Chicken.
Daily Deviation, 2008-05-23

Daily DeviationStargazers by ~lupyne, not only is an interesting concrete poem, but it also has a magical "glow" to it as the poet reminds us: "we'll meet again when Halley soars by." (Suggested by ^fllnthblnk and Featured by ^LadyLincoln)

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Comments


~cappyandpashy4ever:iconcappyandpashy4ever: Sep 6, 2007, 5:17:47 AM
It's allllmost a star...I'm sure DA messed it up a bit though ^ ^;

I really like this...it's so sad and romantic. I hope the person remembers. The 'heavenly glow' line stood out to me a lot. Beautiful description!

--
Wow, you got a pick-axe? I wish I had a pick-axe!
*BlackWolfDS:iconBlackWolfDS: Sep 6, 2007, 7:29:51 AM
I see a star, which is awesome! I don't have the patience to make shapes >_>

Anyway, beautiful poem, the only thing that confused me was the ending...I wasn't sure which side to read first @_@

--
I'm a wolf and proud of it :]
"Be true to your own nature, but don't let it turn on itself." - Larka

[link] <----Wolf!
~lupyne:iconlupyne: Sep 6, 2007, 8:04:36 AM
Ah, it was supposed to be read from the left side first, but come to think of it, it would work even if you read it from the right.

I was hesitant to do a star, because I knew the poem would branch off. >_>

Thank you very much!

--
Wolves come in packs, but why not packages?

"The thing about most of you youngsters these days is: you don't know enough to know that you don't know. . . you know?" - Shawn Michaels
~lupyne:iconlupyne: Sep 6, 2007, 8:07:21 AM
Oh no, that's how it originally looks like too ^^;
I think the middle part is too short, but I can't think of anymore lines to add in.

Thank you very much! :D

--
Wolves come in packs, but why not packages?

"The thing about most of you youngsters these days is: you don't know enough to know that you don't know. . . you know?" - Shawn Michaels
~KittyRose:iconKittyRose: Sep 6, 2007, 9:44:48 AM
This is lovely work and romantic; the shape adds the mood of the piece.

--
And I believe this may call for a proper introduction, and well
Don't you see, I'm the narrator, and this is just the prologue?
Panic! at the Disco
~DolphinGoddess92:iconDolphinGoddess92: Sep 6, 2007, 11:53:37 AM
The star shape is great! It looks like a real shooting one! ^^ I love your descriptions as always and I hope your next poem is as great as this one! I dunno what to say really... It's just wonderful!

--
If we all received a dime for every time we met someone just like ourselves, everyone would be living in cardboard boxes.
And when he gets to Heaven, to Saint Peter he will tell, "Just another soldier reporting, sir. I've served my time in hell."
~VortexDragon36:iconVortexDragon36: Sep 6, 2007, 1:42:59 PM
Another beautiful poem. :) A very challenging shape to try. :o

--
:stereo: Last.fm
~Crystal-Mew~
*Werekat-meow:iconWerekat-meow: Sep 6, 2007, 5:25:07 PM
A creative, fantastic poem. You have Adobe Photoshop or Indesign or something along those lines? I believe there should be a tool or method to make your text form shapes or write along shapes for a more dynamic effect...though that may end up as a pic then text...but just and idea :D

--
"Listen here you. I'll knock-a you down...BR-r-r-r-r-r-r-reak-a you down, into little cubes unless you comment my work!..........please? >^_^<
-----
*Meow!* (Peace) >^.^<
~lupyne:iconlupyne: Sep 6, 2007, 7:42:57 PM
Thank you much!

--
Wolves come in packs, but why not packages?

"The thing about most of you youngsters these days is: you don't know enough to know that you don't know. . . you know?" - Shawn Michaels
~lupyne:iconlupyne: Sep 6, 2007, 7:45:11 PM
Thank you very much!

I thought it looked kinda squashed ^^;

--
Wolves come in packs, but why not packages?

"The thing about most of you youngsters these days is: you don't know enough to know that you don't know. . . you know?" - Shawn Michaels
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